If the Dreamers of the Day are “Dangerous Men,” then Today, I Became a “Dangerous Man”

“’I’ve always wanted to sail to the south seas, but I can’t afford it.’ What these men can’t afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of ‘security.’ And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine – and before we know it our lives are gone.”

                                                         – Sterling Hayden, Wanderer

My 7^th grade English teacher required our class, for our final project, to assemble a “life book” about ourselves – basically a “baby book” extended through the “long and storied lives” of a 14-year-old in Middle School. One section of that project was accumulating favorite quotes, and in looking back through the quotes, one of those I included was a line from the Jimmy Buffett song, Someday I Will. It’s easy to hold the sentiment of “someday I will” as a seventh grader with relatively few worries in life and seemingly endless years ahead in which to achieve one’s dreams, but at some point, the realities and responsibilities of “adulting” force those childhood dreams into the cobwebb adorned back alleys of the mind – reserved for those times daydreaming out the office window wondering what it would be like to forgo the ever accumulating to-do list and set-about achieving that which seemed possible before the weight of life smothered the flame of youthful optimism. The great British military officer, diplomat, and writer T.E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia) wrote, “All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”

What is the difference between the office daydreamer and the “dangerous men” about whom T.E. Lawrence described? The latter acted upon their dreams, they didn’t allow life to beat them, rather, they took the risk to step outside of the cozy confines of a steady paycheck and the security of the day-to-day routine to pursue their dreams – to accomplish something greater than themselves.

Today is the day that I officially transition from one who “dreams by night” to a “dreamer of the day” – today, I submitted my resignation from work and now, leave behind the career as a certified public accountant (CPA) working in Public Accounting to focus full-time on preparing the little ComPac sailboat that stole my heart for a journey which we plan, along with my lovable dog, Ziggy, to sail together – the 6,000 mile journey circumnavigating the eastern half of the united states and portions of Canada by boat — America’s Great Loop, with hopefully, a few additional more “exotic” locations such as the Bahamas and Cuba amongst the itinerary.

I have long dreamed of the moment I could submit my resignation to the firm, what I view as my personal “Declaration of Independence” from a place that at one time represented everything that attracted me to the profession, but over the course of my tenure, became less and less recognizable as such. Admittedly though, it is a bit scary – realizing that there will be no more direct deposit into my bank accounts each month and that those accounts will only decrease – and decrease significantly – over the foreseeable future. Even though it is only a temporary “sabbatical” from the realities of life, the very thought of spending a significant portion of what I have been able to save over the past 8 years goes against every conservative accountant bone in my body, but isn’t that part of what makes it such a significant prospect? Forcing me to rely on myself, with a trust in God’s guidance and provision to seek something far greater than I would otherwise be able to accomplish were I to stay glued to my Herman Miller chair in the office?! The circumstances surrounding having to resign from work to make this dream a reality stand to provide a perspective and appreciation I otherwise would not have gleaned from the trip. Sterling Hayden in his book Wanderer summarized the realities of such a decision better than I ever could:

“To be truly challenging, a voyage, like a life, must rest on a firm foundation of financial unrest. Otherwise, you are doomed to a routine traverse, the kind known to yachtsmen who play with their boats at sea… ‘cruising’ it is called. Voyaging belongs to seamen, and to the wanderers of the world who cannot, or will not, fit in. If you are contemplating a voyage and you have the means, abandon the venture until your fortunes change. Only then will you know what the sea is all about.

‘I’ve always wanted to sail to the south seas, but I can’t afford it.’ What these men can’t afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of ‘security.’ And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine – and before we know it our lives are gone.

What does a man need – really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in – and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all – in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.

The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”

This is not a decision reached in haste, it is one that in some form or another has been in the works for a few years, though it began to accelerate with the purchase of my boat last summer in Maryland. This particular trip has been a dream since childhood, which was further fueled by the many conversations with “Loopers” who frequented the magical little ship’s chandlery, MarineTech Boat Supply, in Grand Haven, MI where I worked during college summers for a guy who shared the same dream, and is currently living that dream with his wife as they sail a modified “loop” of their own design. If there were a “Mount Rushmore” of people who have influenced my life, his face would certainly be amongst them.

Though this trip may lead to a figurative temporary “bankruptcy of purse,” it stands to be an experience that will make me a more dynamic person than I am today, an experience that will push me in ways I would not otherwise be pushed. Iconic American author Jack Kerouac wrote in his novel, On the Road, “The best teacher is experience and not through someone’s distorted point of view.” Even if Ziggy decides the heeling of a sailboat makes him sick, the tensions with Cuba once again lead to a closure of its access, the weather prohibits crossing the Gulf Stream to the Bahamas, or we blow an engine and make it no further than Mobile, the experience will still be that – an experience, and one that will reduce the likelihood of one day laying in a hospital bed wondering what it might have been like to have tried to go about sailing the Loop when I had that opportunity back when I was thirty and transitioning professions. Each day we are given on Earth is a gift from God, and one never knows when it may be their last – “someday” may never come. Accordingly, now is the time to seize the moment and start pursuing the dream – now is the time to take that optimistic 7^th grader quoting Jimmy Buffett in a school project on a journey which will see the fulfilment of a boyhood dream and an experience that may forever alter the course of his life.

“Gather ye rosebuds while ye may…” – Robert Herrick